I Love You A Million.....

 I promise, there is lots of awesome sappy stuff after these couple of sucky paragraphs. Please stick it out for me! Oh, and remember, comments are always appreciated :)

Sailorman and I have been fighting a lot lately. It sucks, big time, but I guess all couples go through this. I think that I still hold a very real fear that one day our fighting is going to hit the point where he breaks up with me again......yes I know. I shouldn't think that way, but after hitting this point twice and having him break up with me twice.....fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me......and well, sometimes I'm still here, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Funny thing is though: Sailorman isn't running for the hills. I know that I've pissed him off something fierce, no not completely just because on purpose, he's been pissing me off too. Instead of running for the hills, or even being cruel, he's just been saying "what can I do to help fix this?" Yeah, I know. I'm shocked too. If you've read through this, maybe I've deleted those posts because they were just too painful to keep, we've had some really horrible fights. I've literally felt sick after some of them. We both fight to the end, and we both are fully capable of fighting dirty and hitting where it hurts the most. I do my best not to, and I know he does too. Unfortunately, we're human.

Don't worry, I get to the good sappy stuff eventually.

We've had stupid fights, and hopefully we're over it right now. I know part of it is the anticipation of his trip to the playground coming up. Another part is not being able to see him for his pre-deployment leave. Yep, I'm being whiny and I'm ok with that. This morning, after not sleeping at all, I called him to say that I wasn't mad anymore. I asked if he forgave me, and I think we're finally good. We're both being very sucky about presents and sending them on time. I'm probably going to wait until Wednesday, just in case my mom bought him anything on her trip I can just stick it in there. That reminds me, I need to start working on his letters too.....sigh. I think he had to wait until he got paid so he could get me whatever it is that I'm getting. Honestly, I'm just really hoping for flowers. Looking at everyone's statuses today I realized that I have never gotten flowers from a guy before.

Sailorman is my second boyfriend (I didn't date in high school and just had a lot of guy friends in college) and my first, Lawyerman (aptly named because he's in law school), well.....he really isn't a flower kind of guy, nor were we together long enough for me to even get comfortable enough to ask for flowers. We realized (ok I realized) that we just weren't compatible as bf/gf and got him to break up with me. Now we're really good friends, who don't have too much in common and yet are completely comfortable with talking about almost every aspect of our lives. It's weird, and I haven't seen him in oh......15 months or so. I miss hanging with him.

Now onto our funny sappy stuff. Back when we first started dating we would play the "I love you ... " game. If you've never played, well, you're lying. So we'd usually start with a million red M&Ms. I started that one from What A Girl Wants with Amanda Bynes. I love that movie it makes me smile every time I watch it. Sailorman quickly decided to escalate it by first going up the colors, then moving onto other things. I remember once when I was on my way to church with my friends he said "I love you more than all the atoms in all the world." I of course, being the absolute nerd that I am, I quickly replied "well I love you more than all the neurons in the universe." I totally won that round :)

Why am I bringing this up? Well, aside for the absolute adorable factor? Because tonight, Sailorman said he loved me a million red M&Ms for the first time in a VERY long time. We were talking and he was in the living room with his roommate, who happens to be his best friend in Virginia Beach. Now his best friend C (I'll try and think of a better nickname for him later) and Sailorman talk a ton of trash. Therefore, when around C, Sailorman is well....a douchebag. So Sailorman is giving me one word answers and talking very shortly, all while I'm trying to say goodnight. Let me just tell you our conversation because I found it adorable and amusing.

me: ok well I'm gonna go to sleep.
Sailorman: ok babe sleep well.
me: ummm aren't you forgetting something?
Sailorman: oh! I love you.
me: and?
Sailorman: ummm.....sweet dreams
me: and?
Sailorman: and.....Happy Valentine's Day!
me: yay! You do realize that this is the first time you've said it all day right?
Sailorman: nuh uh! I said it this morning when you called and I was 3/4 asleep
me: no you didn't! I would've remembered that
Sailorman: well.....I think I did.
me: who was actually awake at the time?
Sailorman: well....you? But I think I did! Didn't you say you were going to sleep?
me: well now since it's Valentine's Day you have to say something sappy and sweet to me
Sailorman: I love you baby
(keep in mind this is still all in the living room)
me: yeah? how much?
Sailorman: umm.....as much as I know that C's truck looks retarded because it's lifted!
me: you CANNOT put an insult for C into a declaration of love for me!
Sailorman: HAHAHAHAHA!
me: nuh uh, try again, you have to say something sweet
Sailorman: well, in that case (gets up and moves to his room, lowers his voice) I love you so much sweetheart
me: yeah? how much?
Sailorman: a million red M&Ms

and then we went on for awhile naming all the different colors, including Skittles. Then he brought the heartshaped Nerds into the mix so I won with the big gun that is a million SweetHearts :)

He should know by now that I always win.