It's CHARLIE!

Just a little something that the Sailor and I love. Especially the ring ring part.....it just makes me smile every single time I watch it!

So Maybe....

Not all doctors are complete idiots. Today I met a rather competent one who seems on top of what I've been diagnosed with. Yay for that! While yes, the numerous tests that I'm now going to have to go through are going to be the biggest pain in the butt ever, at least stuff is FINALLY getting taken care of!

Diagnosis: pseudo-tumor in the cranial cavity.

What does that mean? Simply put: my body is either producing too much spinal fluid/my body isn't absorbing my spinal fluid fast enough. In any case, there's just too much fluid in my body. All that fluid needs somewhere to go right? Typically what happens is fluid begins to build up in the back of the head, where the eye function controls are. The body treats this pocket of fluid as a tumor, but it doesn't show up on MRI or CT scans because  it's not a mass, it's liquid. (This is the reason why I've probably had this for six years and no one has ever diagnosed it before). Treatment: pills. Worse case scenario would be surgery, I don't know about you, but personally I'd rather not have someone putting a shunt in my spine to let the liquid drain. Not only would that be way painful, it just plain sounds gross!

Another symptom, besides blinding migraines, is possible tunnel vision. I guess when you have pressure on the eye controls that can affect your vision! Who knew? Maybe THAT'S the reason why my eyesight started going when my migraines started! My mom's been saying all along that the two are connected.....and yet the brilliant doctors just brushed her off. Mothers really do know best!
 While I doubt that my eyesight will get better one the medication starts taking effect, I do truly hope it doesn't get worse. I can't see the big "E" on the chart anymore.....and that's just plain sad.

Yes, this is a big deal. Yes, I'm kinda scared. However, to be completely honest, I'm just incredibly happy that I FINALLY have a diagnosis that explains so much of what is wrong with me. The Sailor has just been amazing about all of this. When I first told him the news he offered to fly out here on emergency leave. While, yes, it would be amazing to be able to see him before Dec. 15th, I don't think that he should be spending his money on something like this. I'm fine, I'm getting treatment, and all my doctors are FINALLY talking to each other about what the best plan is for me. One thing that did kinda suck was my doctor said I might have to get off the pill.....yeah that's going to suck. Other than that, I'm for the first time in six years hopeful that this isn't how I have to live the rest of my life. Let me just say that this is a very freeing feeling!

Symbols

Why do I always seem to post late at night? Usually when I'm so tired that I can barely think? I'm really starting to think that I do this on purpose so I can give myself an excuse to not go to school in the morning. That's bad! I really need to get out of that habit. Oh the problems of a night owl. There are a couple of things that I would love to post about, and they're running around in my head. One of my problems when it comes to sleeping is my brain goes into hyperdrive when I'm trying to sleep. Blog posts pop into my head, and the wittiest paragraphs get crafted. What a shame it doesn't work like that when I'm conscious and actually at my computer!


Today I started thinking about my birthday. Not next birthday, but this last one. I actually spent my birthday in Sedona, AZ.  My mom and I decided to go on a roadtrip down to the Grand Canyon. While pretty, I kinda felt it was more than a little overrated. Plus, being around that many people makes me feel really claustrophobic. Ironic seeing how vast the GC is!

Back to Sedona. I loved it there. I found it incredibly peaceful, and the B&B that we stayed at was breathtaking. I would love to go back there with the Sailor someday! Click here if you want to look at pictures! I would totally recommend this place to anyone. I also got my haircut there. Hands down the best haircut I have ever gotten. Yeah, I kinda fell in love with Sedona.

This however, isn't why I was thinking about my birthday. Don't you just love how I go off on these random tangents? It's like having a conversation with me. Just picture it all in a complete valley girl voice. Because apparently, that's the perfect description of how I talk. I don't hear it, but everyone else who meets me does. The reason I was thinking about my birthday was because I get a constant reminder of my birthday when I look down at my left hand.

This is what I see. My birthday present from the Sailor! (btw yay for me finally figuring out links and pictures!) It's a promise ring, or commitment ring, or hey look away she's taken ring. Depends on who you talk to the title changes. Personally, I just know that this ring makes me insanely happy.

However, the Sailor didn't actually give me this ring until he came for this visit in July. Why one might ask....well first of all he was in three back to back schools from mid-May until the end of June. Second, He didn't trust the post office. Third, we were having problems lol. After we got back together and all was well in our world once more, I asked him if this ring was "just a birthday present" the way he had pretty much told everyone. He replied: No it's not. It's so much more than a birthday present babe. It's a physical symbol of my love for you, so that you can be reminded whenever you look at it. It's also a promise that while I might screw up, I promise that I won't ever hurt you the way I did these last few months.

Now I know that he's not perfect, but sometimes he knows just the right things to say to get me all weepy!

The Dreaded D

Yup. It's now on the horizon. Boy this is going to suck big time! Apparently the Boyfriend will know tomorrow the location, pretty much every detail about where he's going to be. Yay for secret squirrel stuff I guess. I completely forgot about this bummer news in light of the fact that we were so incredibly silly on the phone today. However, it's late, I'm in bed, and I start to think about what happened to me today. What's the first thing that popped into my head? The fact that my darling dork will be boots on the ground in the Middle East. Yikes! Ok, I know that I promised him that I wasn't going to dwell on this until necessary, but come on! You can't tell me news like this and then expect me NOT to worry about it! and he calls me the one who lives in a fantasy land lol. I KNOW that he will be well protected and with with some of the biggest bad asses that the Navy can provide. Still doesn't squelch that annoying little voice in my head that tells me all the horrible scenarios that could happen. OR the annoying people that for some reason feel the need to mention the worst question possible to anyone who is worrying about someone overseas: "are you worried about him getting hurt when he's there?" ummmm no, or course I'm not worried that the man I'm in love with is going to a war zone where there are crazy people who would love to kill him! What kind of a crazy question is that? Ok, that part of my rant is over. Just needed to purge it out and hopefully that'll let me sleep. I've almost been afraid to sleep these last few nights, and I think that it's because this has been in the back of my head. Now that it's out, hopefully I'll get some advice on how to deal with the anticipation, not to mention the actual big D! Night night, I'm off to dreamland.

Dorks

I love how much of a dork the Boyfriend and I are with each other. It's pretty awesome. Back when we first started dating we played the I love you more game. It was super fun, and led to really funny comparisons. He totally won when he decided to say I love you more than there are neurons in the universe. LOL! Not only did he hit dork of the week, he also hit nerd of the month with that statement :) Lately it's we've been competing to see who wins. I like to say I do, and he obviously doesn't like that one bit! Soooo.....what's our contest? We've started adding, multiplying, squaring, and cubing numbers to see who wins. He gets way more into it than I do it's adorable! Of course, I win by simply saying "plus one" haha. Yep, today's goodnight call was short and sweet, and very very silly. It's put me in a silly mood!