Not a Curious Cat

I'm so very very grateful that I'm able to Skype with Sailorman. I realize that not everyone has that luxury, and I cherish every moment that I'm able to do so.

That being said, I miss his old base. The internet was a lot more reliable, which meant that I could understand what he was saying the first time, not the fourth time yelling into his microphone.

Oh yeah, Sailorman has moved to another base, where his relief people (I have no idea what to call them) are going to be going and staying once Sailorman's deployment is up. Funny, our conversation via Skype today was if he had a problem with the fact that I don't ask him questions about his work. It's been a question on my mind for a while, but I kept forgetting to ask it. Today I remembered, and his answer was surprising.

He said that he was actually grateful that I didn't ask questions about his job, because if I did he wouldn't be able to answer them. (Get the Secret Squirrel thing name now? LOL) So the fact that I don't ask questions about what he does is a relief. I figured that was the case, he had told me from the beginning that he couldn't tell me what he did. I just figured, well, I can't know so what's the point in asking. I'm glad I made that clear. It's not that I don't want to know, or that I'm not curious. It's just that I know that he won't be able to answer any questions. He told me he understood, and was really happy that I understood too.

I think we're good when it comes to his mom. I think we're united in the fact that she has been incredibly selfish and self centered during this entire deployment. Not to mention extremely bad behaved trying to throw me under the bus to blame her toddler-like tantrums over the fact that Sailorman doesn't want to talk to her. I realize that she is his mother, and deep down inside she's acting like this because she loves him. However, the way I was raised, you shouldn't throw a snit fit just because your kid is happy and it has nothing to do with you. That's the bottom line here. I make Sailorman happy, and his mother has no say in our relationship. We don't consult with her about where we're going to live, when we're going to have children, and whether or not Sailorman is going to be a lifer or not. (Another post for another day) It's NOT her decision. It's OURS. She doesn't get that. I hope she does soon, because I'm really sick of this whole thing.

So, my decision, and Sailorman is supporting me, is this: If she truly feels as though I have "pushed her aside and made her a stranger and spectator during this whole deployment"** then that's how it's going to be. I won't offer information to her. This includes homecoming dates. I'll call Sailorman's stepdad, who is an amazing and sweet man who I am 3/4 in love with. I have no idea how on earth he was able to stand being married to Sailorman's mom for 14 years. The man deserves a sainthood for that if you ask me. I will continue to post things that I want on MY facebook page. If she makes a snit about "finding out through facebook and some of the things, how they're portrayed is like a slap in the face**" she has no idea what is about to come. Don't mess with angry Asians. We tend to get really cold blooded when we're angry. We're also in it for the long haul.

**unedited excerpts from some of her very lengthy emails regarding me and Sailorman. Another post for another day. I dwell on this too much and I get even angrier about this whole mess.