Remembering the Fall

Lately has been, and here's hoping I don't jinx myself, amazing. Sailorman and I have been connecting at such an intimate level, that it makes me truly believe that we CAN survive this. More than survive really, we can thrive and grow during this. What brought on this conclusion? a few things, but the main one being, Sailorman showing me his vulnerable side. He told me how lately he's been missing me a lot, more than usual. He told me how much he loves me, how much he appreciates me, and really just how much he knows that everything I do for him IS above the call of duty so to speak. I'm happy to do all that I do for him, truly I am. I might complain and bitch about it from time to time, but I am happy to put together care packages. I'm happy to sit for (sometimes) hours trying to figure out what on earth to say in a letter that is supposed to be warming and uplifting. (Ok, that part I might complain about a little more than the rest, letter and emails are hard for me! I'm much more of a talker than a writer) I guess what I'm trying to say is, lately, Sailorman has made me feel.....honored. It's a humbling feeling to really FEEL that loved. It's been a while since I've felt this way. In a lot of ways it's like falling in love all over again. Only better, because I KNOW him now. It's not falling in love with the discovery of him. It's falling in love with everything I know about him, flaws and all, and growing that love to something deeper than I ever thought possible. Today is the day that I think I finally start to understand Brad Paisley's "Then"

Ok, I think I'm done with the gushy mushy stuff. Ok, probably not, but you know, yeah lol. On to the more "practical" things that have been floating around my mind lately.

He got my second care package today. He said it was much appreciated, which I was glad about. This one had been a little.....slapped together to tell the truth. I didn't bake any cookies (if you knew me in real life I think you'd be shocked by that statement, I'm rather known for always baking cookies) Instead, I put in some different breads in jars for his treats. I'm sure he's going to like them, the first box I threw in at the last minute a jar of banana bread that he was insanely excited about. It was absolutely adorable.

I also got him a new shower poof. It was so sweet what he said about it. More or less it was "baby, thank you so much for everything that you put in that box! How did you know that I needed a new poof? My old was in desperate need of replacing, I really should have done it beforehand. I love that you thought to give me a new one." How did I know? Well sweetie, I was there when you packed it and thought to myself "that thing has seen better days, you should remember to replace it while he's out there."

Another thing that he wouldn't stop gushing about was these Clif bars that I found. Ever since he told me how much he likes them, I've started looking around for different flavors. For the most part, Sailorman buys his from the NEX or gas stations. That means limited flavor choices. It was until we went to TJs (Trader Joe's) for the first time when he came out for a visit that he discovered MANY different flavors. So last month when I was at the health food store browsing around I discovered three different flavored Clif bars that I'd never seen before. Obviously, I bought them for my loverface, and he is definitely loving them! The flavors I found were: Banana Nut Bread, Apricot, and Maple Nut. I haven't heard the verdict on the Apricot, but the other two are a thumbs up, with the Banana Bread as "the best ever, I think I've found a new favorite flavor you are AMAZING for finding this for me" Apparently it's that good. I'm looking forward to tasting it after I order a box from this website I found that sells a box of 12 for a decent discount.

Yeah, that's my life now, getting excited that my loverface is happy with his care packages. No, that's not all my life is, but as of right now that's the part that is giving me the most satisfaction. I'm happy and in love. I think this is one of those moments I'm going to remember as the time I fell for the second time. I'm sure that there are going to be others, and I'll look back and smile at this time, and think to myself: and you thought you loved him then.