Yeah. today's....tonight's post is going to be a downer. Why? Because today I'm upset at the stupid command for not letting Sailorman know his training schedules sooner. If he wasn't part of the support team I'm pretty sure that he would have known all this stupid stuff already. But since he is, he gets to know nothing, and then training stuff gets sprung a few weeks before. Usually, I just roll with it, but today, I had to change my flight back home. To make it worse, it's going to be bumped back by 10 days. This just blows. I'm mad, I'm frustrated. And pretty much just bummed.
For all the bitching and moaning that I do on this blog, in real life, I'm an incredibly upbeat person who doesn't let the small stuff get to me. (Probably the reason why I go on and on and on about the small stuff on this blog.) So I should revise that last statement and say that I don't let others see the small stuff getting to me. Usually, the stupid stuff that Navy throws at us I just roll with, say no big, and continue.
This time.....it's different. By having to leave 10 days earlier for Sailorman to go to this, in his opinion, pointless exercise, it brings his deployment date even closer. I don't want the reality of him leaving to hit me just yet. Though, it seems like today is the day that that bubble had to burst. I wanted to get through the holidays, and then have the freakout. I didn't want to freak before seeing him, and now it seems that I'm going to have to freakout at home, where I don't have the comfort of him well, comforting me. Getting comforted over the phone really isn't the same if you ask me.
Once I get all of this out of my system, I'll be strong. I'll deal. I'll be the homefront rock and all the jazz. Tonight, I'm breaking down. Tonight, I'm deciding that it's ok to be weak. Tonight, well tonight is the night that I'm probably not going to sleep. I'll go to class hollow eyed, come home and crash. What else is there that I can do? This is happening whether I want it to or not.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
