It's been a while since I've posted a "real" blog post. Lots of reasons for that, one of the main ones being that I'm lazy lol. I could blame it on needing to pack all my belonging because I'm moving next month (eek!) but, well, that'd be a lie. I've barely begun to pack. Not only does it not feel real yet, I'm also not ready to let go of the fact that this isn't going to be "home" anymore. It won't be where I spend all my time anymore. So, I've been ignoring the reality that I am going to be moving cross country with Sailorman by doing......nothing. Besides watching a lot of movies of course. I'm sure I'll get my butt into gear soon. I'm great under pressure after all. It's just....getting the motivation to do it that's my problem.
It's been hard for me in other areas too. Since my huge fallout with my former BFF D, I feel completely friendless here in the Bay. I know it's not truly true. I do have friends. It's just that my friends are far from me. A lot of my friends are those I made in college, and I went to college roughly 400 miles away from where I live. I feel like I have no one in my life who is excited for me. D was supposed to be helping me with this. She promised she would be there, and when I needed her, she was completely unavailable. I feel like she's let her boyfriend rule everything she does. Since he hates me she hates me too. That might be completely wrong, but that's how I feel.
I'm going to be a bride, and don't feel like one. I'm not having a bridal shower. I'm not going to have friends do silly fun things for me. D wrote on my wall via FB asking when I'm leaving for VA. I answered, and never got a reply. It just feels so false, anything she does. I guess I didn't realize until now how completely hurt I am by her treatment of me. Her mom, who isn't all that great of a person, has been so much nicer to me. Sigh. I wish I knew what to do here. I just feel so sad. I'm supposed to be out of my mind with excitement and happiness. Instead, I can't help but feel that no one cares.
I know I have friends. I have amazing friends. The problem is distance between me and those amazing friends.
I just wonder? Does every bride get the Bride Blues?
Just a girl who accidentally fell in love with a United States Sailor, who I call Sailorman. This blog is here to help me sort out the ups and downs that are our relationship, random thoughts, and connecting to other milspouses.
Welcome to my mind.
Sailorman is, for the most part, an absolute sweetheart. He's my knight in shining armor who is always there to save me from myself. He doesn't fully approve of blogs, so out of respect for him, as well as for security reasons his picture and name won't come up. However, he will be a star player, because well, he's a huge part of my life. I love his crazy dorky personality and I'm so excited to be his future wife!
