Just......WOW

So......had an interesting talk with the boyfriend today. I was on vacation with my mom for the last week, which left pretty much no time to talk privately with him. He did call on my birthday to wish me a good day, which was nice, but it was unfortunately, only a 15 min conversation. Understandable, and we were texting on and off during the entire time.

My problem is that this is become an increasing bad habit with him. It started sometime around Feb/March that the phone calls got shorter, the text messages became more polite conversation, and the good morning text messages stopped altogether. He started calling when he was tired and in bed, making our phone calls 15-20 mins long, if that. It's gotten worse the longer he's had to travel for different schools, and more often than not it's not an every night phone call anymore.

I know that there will probably be comments regarding the fact that when he's deployed I'll weep with gratitude if I can get a 15 min phone call. I probably will. That's not my point at all! When he's out training, in the field, or sharing a room with someone I know that he needs to put up his bad boy front, and whatever, I'm cool with it. My problem is the fact that when he's home he does the same thing. He'll mess around with his Xbox, or his farmville, or whatever it is instead of wanting to talk to me. He basically told me that he feels as though I'm not real anymore. That I'm just a voice that he talks to, and he dreads the day that he gives me the phone call telling me that he fucked up.......

Now I'm to the point where I'm thinking maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead. Break up and try and be friends again. I asked him point-blank if he wanted to do that, and he said no. I've made him the happiest he's been in 5 or 6 years. Bully for him, as of right now, I'm decidedly unhappy. I wonder if breaking up will make me happy or sad. Will it be relief I feel? Will I feel as though I've made a huge mistake?

A friend of mine actually gave me the "You knew what you were getting into when you started dating him" speech. I was so pissed......first of all, he's never dated anyone in the military. His ex is in the Army, but he wasn't with her when she joined, so that doesn't count. He wants to join the Navy, but once again, it's VERY different being in the military and being the one dating someone in the military. I think that that might be THE most annoying thing that anyone has ever told me in regards to my relationship. Not every problem that comes up in a military relationship is about the military. He's not just a Sailor, he's also a man.