I am sitting here on my couch, staring at my computer screen. Still in disbelief over the sheer vanity and ego that people are capable of. Not to mention the capacity to hold a grudge.
I guess I should start at the beginning. (This is all my point of view, some might not be accurate, but again, I'm not privy to everyone's thoughts. If I was my name would be Professor X.)
Months ago I was invited by a friend into a venting group on FB. Thinking not too much of it I occasionally logged on and checked out the vents. Some made me laugh, others made me wince. I commented occasionally and posted rarely. Nonetheless I did enjoy the group. It by no means was the center of my world (lol) but no big deal either way. Then one day, I wasn't in the group anymore. I didn't know why, so I texted my friend to ask her what the deal was. I joked around saying that perhaps the moderator (we'll call her The Wife or TW for short) hated me or something and kicked me out. Well, my friend (MF for short, I get tired of typing such long words lol) stood up for me in the group, asked why I was kicked out and it turned out to have been a mistake. Whatever, no big I wasn't all that upset by it. MF on the other hand, was. It turned into a big deal between MF and TW. So big that because I was MF's friend, I could no longer be in the group.
My reaction was simply one of shock. I've never been in a position of "if you're friends with so and so then we cannot speak or associate or even sort of know you" period. I messaged TW asking her why I had been kicked out again. She straight up told me it was because I was friends with MF and couldn't be trusted. She also went on to say that if I continued a friendship with MF I wouldn't never have friends in the area, and to choose wisely. At this point I'm just pissed off. Would it be nice to have friends? Sure. Should I sacrifice the person who has been my friend, both on and off the internet, for years for potential friends? Not in my world. In my world I'm friends with someone until they do something that hurts me so badly that I cannot be friends with them anymore. So I went about my merry way and let it go.
Fast forward/rewind. Is that confusing?
Rewind by saying about a year-ish or so I made a twitter account. I'm never on it because I didn't really get twitter and don't have the patience to learn twitter, but it's there.
Fast forward to now when today I decided to get on my twitter account and try and figure it out. I also changed my name and picture on it, because like I've said before, Sailorman is a PERSEC nut. I tooled around and figured out how to do stuff (sort of.) I find MF there and follow her. I also see that she's had some drama regarding TW. It's been MONTHS at this point, so I'm willing to let everything go. I try to follow TW (bad idea) and she blocks me within 30 seconds. I tweet to MF "don't worry about it, haters got to hate" or something like that, which started up a SHIT STORM which has lasted about three hours.
In support of MF, I have now become a target for TW to hit on. She has not stopped, is paranoid that EVERYTHING I write is about her, and makes it a point to respond by twisting my words by making me be the attacker. I'm sorry, but I have ALWAYS been the one who stays out of confrontations. I don't do drama, I don't get in the middle of fights. Compassion and support is not the same as "going to battle" and that's what TW has done. To say that I'm baffled would be an understatement. I'm more than a little stressed out because of this, and I'm really just over the fact that she is a "leader" in the mili community around here because she's just so loud. I suppose this is all on me because I'm the one who said something first, I'm the one who tried to just let stuff go without talking about it first, and I'm the one who responded in defense to her attacks.
If that's the case then I've learned my lesson. I'm as friend-shy as can be after the disaster that was my last strong friendship that went to hell. I'm even more wary of people now. I'll stick to my husband, at least he's the one person who I know won't attack me and twist my words up into something that they're not.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Overwhelmed
I haven't been in the mood to blog. That's not entirely true. I've had amazing blogs plotted in my head just as I'm about to go to sleep. Then I wake up and either have completely forgotten what I was thinking about, or the thoughts are all jumbled and don't make any sense. So....I've just stopped blogging. I should work on that.
All that being said, there's not a lot that's new at the Squirrel house. (Squirrel house, Nut house? har har Which one sounds better?)
Our dog, who is much older than we were first told, a whooping 20 months now, is named Mickey because that was the only thing he respondes to. Mickey has shown remarkable improvement since he's lived with us. However, he's had some relapses. Mainly, eating my shoes. I don't want to talk about it, it's still too painful. My solution has been to crate if no one's home. It used to be he'd go for the shoes if I was in the shower, but lately he's just taken to jumping on the bed and hanging there when I shower. It works for me. Much easier to clean off the comforter than replace shoes constantly.
Now....as for the rest. Sailorman has been progressively getting more and more obsessed with airsofting. If you don't know what that is, LUCKY YOU!!!! In short, it's paintball, but with BBs instead of paintballs. He comes back sweaty, dirty, muddy, and full of welts. It also is costing a small fortune. Sailorman insists that it keeps him out of bars on the weekend, and it'd be cheaper than his bartabs. At this rate I'm doubting that. I feel so frustrated at the fact that it drains so much money! Part of me said "well it's his paycheck" but then another part gives myself a lecture saying that it's my money too, and I deserve to get stuff but don't because I'm very conscious of how much is in the bank.
We're not in the poorhouse by any means, when it comes to the house I'm very budget conscious. Our money issues don't come from me. I'm just frustrated because my husband sees there's money in the bank account and figures that means he can go to town "just because." I've never lived this way, and I don't really like it. I just don't know how to approach him on this, because his dad's side treats him like a five year old who doesn't know how to manage his money (sometimes I really do wonder where they got this idea....sigh) and gets incredibly pissed off whenever the word budgeting comes up.
Not to mention all the types of problems that have arisen from the flood and how crappy the apartment office has handled all of this. I don't want to deal with them anymore, and I'm just not sure I can rely on Sailorman to handle what needs to be handled. I think the thing that I hate the most about my life right now is that I feel like I'm functioning as a single when I'm part of a team. Please don't give me any crap about how that's what military wives do. It's not a question of not being capable to handle it all.
It's a reasoning of why should I HAVE to handle it all when my husband is HERE. If he was away at school, away at a training, away on deployment, I'd suck it up, deal with the office and figure out what to do with the stress. Here's the thing though: I'm not alone. My husband is here, he goes to work, and comes home by 4:30ish everyday that he doesn't have duty or watch. He should help me, not expect me to do it all. Just because I'm the stay at home spouse shouldn't mean that I'm the one who handles this by myself.
I'm tired, and I need a break.
All that being said, there's not a lot that's new at the Squirrel house. (Squirrel house, Nut house? har har Which one sounds better?)
Our dog, who is much older than we were first told, a whooping 20 months now, is named Mickey because that was the only thing he respondes to. Mickey has shown remarkable improvement since he's lived with us. However, he's had some relapses. Mainly, eating my shoes. I don't want to talk about it, it's still too painful. My solution has been to crate if no one's home. It used to be he'd go for the shoes if I was in the shower, but lately he's just taken to jumping on the bed and hanging there when I shower. It works for me. Much easier to clean off the comforter than replace shoes constantly.
Now....as for the rest. Sailorman has been progressively getting more and more obsessed with airsofting. If you don't know what that is, LUCKY YOU!!!! In short, it's paintball, but with BBs instead of paintballs. He comes back sweaty, dirty, muddy, and full of welts. It also is costing a small fortune. Sailorman insists that it keeps him out of bars on the weekend, and it'd be cheaper than his bartabs. At this rate I'm doubting that. I feel so frustrated at the fact that it drains so much money! Part of me said "well it's his paycheck" but then another part gives myself a lecture saying that it's my money too, and I deserve to get stuff but don't because I'm very conscious of how much is in the bank.
We're not in the poorhouse by any means, when it comes to the house I'm very budget conscious. Our money issues don't come from me. I'm just frustrated because my husband sees there's money in the bank account and figures that means he can go to town "just because." I've never lived this way, and I don't really like it. I just don't know how to approach him on this, because his dad's side treats him like a five year old who doesn't know how to manage his money (sometimes I really do wonder where they got this idea....sigh) and gets incredibly pissed off whenever the word budgeting comes up.
Not to mention all the types of problems that have arisen from the flood and how crappy the apartment office has handled all of this. I don't want to deal with them anymore, and I'm just not sure I can rely on Sailorman to handle what needs to be handled. I think the thing that I hate the most about my life right now is that I feel like I'm functioning as a single when I'm part of a team. Please don't give me any crap about how that's what military wives do. It's not a question of not being capable to handle it all.
It's a reasoning of why should I HAVE to handle it all when my husband is HERE. If he was away at school, away at a training, away on deployment, I'd suck it up, deal with the office and figure out what to do with the stress. Here's the thing though: I'm not alone. My husband is here, he goes to work, and comes home by 4:30ish everyday that he doesn't have duty or watch. He should help me, not expect me to do it all. Just because I'm the stay at home spouse shouldn't mean that I'm the one who handles this by myself.
I'm tired, and I need a break.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
POP POP POP
Last night something happened. It was late at night, Sailorman and I were in bed. I had finally gotten tired after staying up until about midnight reading my book (it was good ok?) and my beloved had fallen into a deep snoring sleep around 10ish.
Around 2am we were awoken to a pop pop pop. At first I didn't think too much of it, it registered and I was ready to go back to sleep after the first pop. Sailorman on the other hand.......slid off the bed, practically wedged himself under the frame all the while yelling "BABE, GET DOWN!" over and over and over again.
(I should also mention Mickey, our dog, sleeps right under the windows in our room, on my side of the bed. He jumped and ran over to crouch with Sailorman as soon as the pops started too.) (I should also mention that I didn't move. At all. This is why I will never survive the zombie attack.)
Sailorman after waiting a few minutes went to check the windows, finally came back to bed and proceeded to spoon me so tightly that I started to feel like a security blanket. This continued for about five minutes then he rolled over and went back to sleep.
It's hard to remember sometimes that my husband has been in a warzone. He's had rockets launched at him, and being woken up to "pop pop pop" is definitely going to bring back flashes.
It's not a funny situation, and yet it makes me smile. I'm glad that my sweetheart has the reflexes to protect himself, and I'm beyond touched that his first thought (though not reaction) was my safety. Even if I didn't move an inch and was barely awake for the whole ordeal.
Around 2am we were awoken to a pop pop pop. At first I didn't think too much of it, it registered and I was ready to go back to sleep after the first pop. Sailorman on the other hand.......slid off the bed, practically wedged himself under the frame all the while yelling "BABE, GET DOWN!" over and over and over again.
(I should also mention Mickey, our dog, sleeps right under the windows in our room, on my side of the bed. He jumped and ran over to crouch with Sailorman as soon as the pops started too.) (I should also mention that I didn't move. At all. This is why I will never survive the zombie attack.)
Sailorman after waiting a few minutes went to check the windows, finally came back to bed and proceeded to spoon me so tightly that I started to feel like a security blanket. This continued for about five minutes then he rolled over and went back to sleep.
It's hard to remember sometimes that my husband has been in a warzone. He's had rockets launched at him, and being woken up to "pop pop pop" is definitely going to bring back flashes.
It's not a funny situation, and yet it makes me smile. I'm glad that my sweetheart has the reflexes to protect himself, and I'm beyond touched that his first thought (though not reaction) was my safety. Even if I didn't move an inch and was barely awake for the whole ordeal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
