Overwhelmed

I haven't been in the mood to blog. That's not entirely true. I've had amazing blogs plotted in my head just as I'm about to go to sleep. Then I wake up and either have completely forgotten what I was thinking about, or the thoughts are all jumbled and don't make any sense. So....I've just stopped blogging. I should work on that.

All that being said, there's not a lot that's new at the Squirrel house. (Squirrel house, Nut house? har har Which one sounds better?)

Our dog, who is much older than we were first told, a whooping 20 months now, is named Mickey because that was the only thing he respondes to. Mickey has shown remarkable improvement since he's lived with us. However, he's had some relapses. Mainly, eating my shoes. I don't want to talk about it, it's still too painful. My solution has been to crate if no one's home. It used to be he'd go for the shoes if I was in the shower, but lately he's just taken to jumping on the bed and hanging there when I shower. It works for me. Much easier to clean off the comforter than replace shoes constantly.

Now....as for the rest. Sailorman has been progressively getting more and more obsessed with airsofting. If you don't know what that is, LUCKY YOU!!!! In short, it's paintball, but with BBs instead of paintballs. He comes back sweaty, dirty, muddy, and full of welts. It also is costing a small fortune. Sailorman insists that it keeps him out of bars on the weekend, and it'd be cheaper than his bartabs. At this rate I'm doubting that. I feel so frustrated at the fact that it drains so much money! Part of me said "well it's his paycheck" but then another part gives myself a lecture saying that it's my money too, and I deserve to get stuff but don't because I'm very conscious of how much is in the bank.

We're not in the poorhouse by any means, when it comes to the house I'm very budget conscious. Our money issues don't come from me. I'm just frustrated because my husband sees there's money in the bank account and figures that means he can go to town "just because." I've never lived this way, and I don't really like it. I just don't know how to approach him on this, because his dad's side treats him like a five year old who doesn't know how to manage his money (sometimes I really do wonder where they got this idea....sigh) and gets incredibly pissed off whenever the word budgeting comes up.

Not to mention all the types of problems that have arisen from the flood and how crappy the apartment office has handled all of this. I don't want to deal with them anymore, and I'm just not sure I can rely on Sailorman to handle what needs to be handled. I think the thing that I hate the most about my life right now is that I feel like I'm functioning as a single when I'm part of a team. Please don't give me any crap about how that's what military wives do. It's not a question of not being capable to handle it all.

It's a reasoning of why should I HAVE to handle it all when my husband is HERE. If he was away at school, away at a training, away on deployment, I'd suck it up, deal with the office and figure out what to do with the stress. Here's the thing though: I'm not alone. My husband is here, he goes to work, and comes home by 4:30ish everyday that he doesn't have duty or watch. He should help me, not expect me to do it all. Just because I'm the stay at home spouse shouldn't mean that I'm the one who handles this by myself.

I'm tired, and I need a break.