Day 1: My Best Friend

Hmmmmm well what on earth am I going to say about my best friend in the whole wide world?

This is difficult on so many levels, partly because I think I know her too well, so it's hard to describe her. Also, whenever I've tried, I've kinda made her out to be a little bit worse than what she really is. *sorry!* I'm gonna do my very very best to get it right this time though.

My bestie, we'll call her D, is just pure awesomeness. She listens to me bitch and whine, as well as endlessly praise and brag. She always feeds me awesome dinners, and I in turn feed her awesome deserts. We're just that cool! She is without a doubt my soulmate in every sense of the word. As different as we are, we're a lot alike, in little ways that have forged bonds so strong even stupid little comments we've made to each other hasn't really affected the structure of our relationship.

I guess I should start with some background. Neither of us is really sure how it was that we became friends. I find this really funny because we both know exactly when we met. I guess it was friendship at first sight? We met at a Christmas banquet my Academy was having. She was the "date" to a mutual friend that has since decided she hates me. Oh and she also used to be D's best friend. Yeah....I replaced her. Not to be confused with D and I having an affair on....well we'll call her E. It's just that D and E were having some problems, and decided to take a breather, and well D and J just ended up.....happening. Before we knew it, we were more than just friends who occasionally saw each other but when we did we would talk about everything and just generally not shut up, to friends who saw each other every weekend for sleepovers and never shutting up for two days on a weekly basis.

When E decided  to try and mend the riff with D......well, it didn't really turn out the way she wanted. Instead of coming back to a miserable D who was missing her.....she came back to a D who had moved on and given that special part of your heart reserved for that special BFF to moi. But that's not the reason E hates me. She started that way before, and has NEVER told the reason why. It's a mystery alright lol.

Back to D being awesome. She enables my lemonade addiction. She talks about tv characters like they're real people (I totally do too!) Gets mad at predictable plots, and talks throughout tv shows and movies just like me! Yeah, don't ever watch anything with us, we're REALLY obnoxious. We do try and keep it to a minimum when in a movie theater, but.....it's HARD to do that! She loves Star Gate, Star Wars, Star Trek (sensing a theme here?) and I got her hooked on The Big Bang Theory. She also loves really random BBC things like Dr. Who and Torchwood. She also knows that I'd rather burn out my eyes than watch that with her.

She's also the strongest prayer warrior I know. There is just something about her when she prays that makes me feel instantly better. I'm not one for public prayer, probably because I talk to God the way I talk to my friends, meaning I tell him to knock it off and stop being a punk. Not really something I'd want to say in front of others. D however, is just....awesome. She's the youth leader of her church. She's a junior Deaconess and she's really involved in Pathfinders.....kind of like a christian girl/boy scouts thing.

I admire her greatly, even though she is the biggest spaz I know. She also really sucks at spelling, but makes up for it with her grasp of math. She is one day going to keep me in the live I plan to very quickly become accustomed to :). She makes me smile when I'm sad, she calms me down when I'm pissed, and she makes me really really hyper when I'm happy. She's my soul mate, and I'm incredibly blessed to have her in my life. Jesus Freak and all.

30 Day Meme

Well since lately I've had absolutely no idea what to post about, I'm instead going to do one of those meme that have been so popular with the bloggy world! I got this from Mrs. Hollis and Mrs. B-Dub. They're both really awesome mommies who are really insightful women. I hope that when I have babies I'm half the mom these two are.

Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 - Your Crush
Day 3 - Your Parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your Dreams
Day 6 - A Stranger
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 -Someone you wish you could forgive
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection

I Wish I Could Write

Writing is difficult for me. To put pen to paper, figuratively speaking, is really hard. I wish I was more eloquent, I wish I was more concise. I wish I could tell a story without going off on tangents, or being too wordy. Life would be awesome if I could only write.

Ok, no, not really, but it would definitely make my life easier. So much of the world is now writing. We write online, we write our resumes, we write papers for school. I write this blog, and yet when I look back, it seems so scattered, so depressing. I don't know how to write happy. For the most part, I am happy in my relationship. I know that I'm deeply loved, and I love back. Yes, we have our spats, our disagreements, and well.....I am an only child who has deep rooted "this is mine so don't touch it" issues lol. I think this is the reason I don't know where to draw the line at jealousy. I am a jealous person by nature, and it appears to be getting worse the closer we get. I'm jealous of every female in his life.

It really doesn't help that he met up with an ex of his the other day, and didn't tell me about it until after the fact. When I pressed, he admitted that he did love her, but she didn't feel the same. She was then stationed in Japan, he caught her cheating on him, and they broke up. It was messy, it wasn't resolved, and yet he went to meet her at the airport, went to a bar with her and a friend, and then drove her the Norfolk base to catch yet another flight.

Should I be ok with this? She then posts on his wall, tells him he's amazing, and calls him babe. This bothered me. A LOT. Right now, in this moment, I'm back to the feeling I was in from April to July. That depressing, "I'm in this alone" feeling. I know I can't control how others talk to my boyfriend, but the thing is, he doesn't see the wrong in this kind of behavior. Something similar happened when he was out here in July. A friend of his from back home was continuous texting him. At literally all hours of the night. There was a couple of times that she was texting him at 2AM! Now, I know that as a friend, you want to keep in contact, but I get limited face time with my boyfriend, and as a friend I would hope that my "friends" would respect that, and not want to distract said friend from my girlfriend with my stupid "whatcha doing" texts. Especially at the small hours of night!

Ok wow, didn't realize that I had this much bothering me about this. As of right now, I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. Little things set me off, especially other women. Sigh. I just wish that someone could tell me whether or not I was crazy about this.